Family Matters - Wisdom from Proverbs
Passages: Genesis 4:1-10; Proverbs; Ephesians 5
Intro: Genesis 4:1-10 - The enemy has sought out to split families, hurt their testimony, and divide their unity from the very beginning. His motives and desires to destroy haven’t changed, but some of his tactics have evolved over time.
We need now, perhaps more than ever, to have wisdom in regard to our place in a family. If the world doesn’t see healthy families in the Church, where exactly will they see them?
Main Idea: For the Church to be at its best, the families within it need to cultivate spiritual health.
1. Healthy families begin with healthy marriages.
First off, I want to say that if you are single and plan to stay that way – there is nothing wrong with that and there is nothing wrong with you. For most of you, you either have had a spouse or likely will one day.
If families are one of, if not the primary target of the enemy, the front line of this battle – often where it is won or loss – is the marriage. Friends, I likely don’t have to convince you that marriage is under attack, but let me remind you of some of the ways they are being targeted and destroyed:
• The acceptance of divorce in our society and in the Church
- Divorce should never be taken lightly – two people have become one – so divorce is like a death.
• A celebrated “me-first” society
- Marriage demands that you put your spouse’s wants, needs and desires before your own.
• The perversion of marriage
- Marriage is now, and always has been designated for one man and one woman. Any other variation is a perversion of God’s creation and cannot be tolerated and certainly not celebrated.
Romans 1:26-32 - "For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them."
A. Marriage is a holy, God-ordained covenant and should be treated as such.
B. Marriage is a GOOD thing! Proverbs 18:22 - "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
C. Our society would have you to believe that marriage is a bad thing – but it’s good – and can be great when both the husband and the wife take heed of what Solomon has to say…
D. Proverbs 12:4 - "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones." Proverbs 14:1 - "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down." Proverbs 31:12 - "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."
E. Wives, you can be a crown of your husband or bring shame…
F. Husbands – there is much said about what kind of leader you ought to be. You should be a man who fears the Lord and grows in your understanding. Proverbs 1:7 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
G. Before you can be a good husband, be a good son. Proverbs 10:1 - "A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother." Proverbs 3:21-27 - "My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."
H. Wives – seek to be an excellent wife and husbands seek to be a wise leader. When this happens, you will have the beginnings of a healthy marriage.
Main Idea: For the Church to be at its best, the families within it need to cultivate spiritually health.
2. Healthy marriages include healthy sexuality.
While marriages are on the front lines with the fight against the enemy, the primary weapon of the enemy is sex. He uses and abuses a beautiful thing that God has created to help us understand and enjoy intimacy to corrupt and destroy. We simply can’t talk about healthy families and the wisdom of Solomon without discussing healthy sexuality.
A. Sex is a gift from God that should only be in enjoyed in the context of a biblical marriage.
B. Proverbs 5:15-18 - "Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth"
C. “Drink water from your own cistern” – what do you suppose Solomon is saying here?
D. Sex is for two married people, together for life and should include no one else.
E. The enemy is far too successful perverting this beautiful thing and destroying people.
3. Healthy marriages provide the right soil to grow healthy children.
In the Church world, it is often said that, in general terms, the spiritual health of the congregants won’t surpass the spiritual health of the leaders- the same is likely true for the spiritual health of your kids....
Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
A. Having a healthy marriage is key in raising your kids, but it doesn’t end there – we have to be intentional.
B. Deuteronomy 6:1-2 - "Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long."
C. Your kids are watching you!
D. Titus 2:7-8 - "Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us."
E. Be obedient to God and don’t give the enemy any ammo to use to take you or your kids out. Deuteronomy 6:3 - "Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey."
Conclusion: The health of the family sitting next to you needs to matter to you. And the health of all of our families matter to God and the world is watching.
Pastor’s Challenge:
1. When you, your spouse or your child have made mistakes, choose grace.
2. Make your spouse your priority, not your children.
3. Married? Ensure that your spouse is sexually fulfilled.
4. Not married? Remain celibate as sex was designed by God for the context of biblical marriage.
5. Fight for spiritual health in your family and the families around you.
